Feb. 22, 2004
Felt like I couldn’t shake off depression. I’m not sure why, except the period. Got into a hot bath, read a bit of a book
about energy techniques for bringing money into
your life positively by following spiritual laws. And there was a part about visualizing
negative thoughts vanishing or blowing away, and positive thoughts being
accentuated, etc. So I did a little of
that myself, to see if I could make myself feel better. And I got this:
I remember times in which
all the world seemed perfect, all made sense, all was right, and all was
beautiful. I felt complete security and
a deep sense of well-being. It was when
I was a child.
If you are like most
people, the last time you had such a perfect moment was in childhood. If you are like me, and most people, you were
taught to discredit this feeling; that it was childish, impractical,
unrealistic; that life was serious, if not grim; that there were more important
things to feel.
What I realized as I
meditated was that this state of mind is actually more true than the chaff that
we are taught as we grow up, because it is reflective of the purely spiritual
state. It is the feeling of the presence
of the Divine. We have it in childhood
because we were more recently in the spirit world, and remember it better, than
adults.
It struck me that nothing
is more important, or practical, or realistic, than to not only remember this
state of mind, but let it spread out into our consciousness until we live in it
constantly, until we become it. Anyone
can access it (if they don’t already); all you need to do is remember the
feeling of such a moment, and focus on it, immerse yourself in it, grow it in
yourself.
When I realized this, I
thought, “I can transform myself this way.”
But something struck me as off-key in the statement, and I soon realized
what. I do not need to transform
myself. None of us do. It is our habits of thought we need to
transform, and that will not transform us at all; rather it will ground us in
ourselves, make us more our true selves.
Ever my guides are with me,
teaching me what I most need to learn, to be gentle with myself...
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