The way to stop worrying about being acceptable : ex's response

Mar. 2, 2004

[My ex]: I don’t know why I am asking these questions, I shouldn’t.

Karen: (I only thought this, did not say it) Maybe for the usual reason people ask questions—you want answers?

Guides: Those who do not know their own answer to the question, ‘Am I on the right path,’ will find themselves following the agenda of others. 

You are acceptable and you need to accept yourself.  [I don’t know whether they were talking to her or me here.  Maybe both, because they are actually talking to everybody.]

We are going to use the power of imagination here.  Imagination is immensely powerful. 

Imagine yourself... without all that is emotion.  Strip away the emotion that surrounds how you look at yourself.  Imagine yourself without fear. 

Who are you?  Who are you when you are no longer worrying about how you look, about how much money you make, and so forth (we’ve already established that these things are not you), about whether you are worthy of love?  Who are you when those worries are stripped away, because they are just emotions, just fear? 

Without all that—you are acceptable, aren’t you?  You can look at yourself realistically, without the emotion.  You can see that you are an individual just doing your best, with your talents, skills and training (whatever they are).  You can see that you are just where you are in the scheme of things, and really, that’s okay.  You can lay down the struggle to overcome the worries that you are not acceptable. 

The only way to stop worrying about whether you are acceptable is—to accept yourself! 

But understand also... you have to accept your worries.  That doesn’t mean being ruled by them—we’re trying to get away from that—but accepting that they are human and natural.  Troublesome, yes... you’d be better off without them... but it’s important not to make yourself less acceptable to yourself by criticizing yourself for having them.  Because, frankly, everyone has them.  It’s just part of being human.  By accepting that we have fear, we accept part of ourselves, and so we are one step closer to letting fear go.

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